Happy Father's Day, Mom.

There is something truly special about being a single parent; for one, he prefers me over anyone else (( although my dad is a close second )). There isn't any parent preference because, well, I'm both. Likewise, if I make us dinner and it is really gross, the only person who really knows it sucks is me and I'm so hungry anyway I eat it regardless. Whether Nolan likes it or not doesn't matter because he eats anything and what he doesn't eat ends up on the floor anyway.

Another awesome part is having a  walk-in closet all to myself, but really, that has nothing to do with Nolan and has everything to do with a particular clothes hoarding problem that a particular person has. Not pointing fingers though....

 I am able to get to know my child as a dad and as a mom. He watches and helps me clean but we also play a game called crash-bang where we throw cars at the wall. I know it isn't the most responsible game to be teaching a toddler but he laughs his ass off and I love to hear that belly giggle.

Most of all, he teaches me things, like how awesome and not-scary it is to be alone.

Now I'm not suggesting that I hate being attached to a small minion all day, I do the work that I do so I can be around him and not have him in daycare. What I am saying is, before I had Nolan I HATED doing things outside of my house alone. It felt awkward and weird. 

Forget eating alone, I would have rather purchased take-out and sat alone in my car while listening to NPR because no one gets you through a sandwich quite like Diane Rehm.  See a movie by myself?? NO WAY. The thought of not sharing popcorn might have been tempting but there is no way in hell I would have uttered "one for ________" to a movie theater employee and not felt like he or she was laughing at the loser going to see Avatar alone.

Fast-forward to today....

I itch at the opportunity to do things by myself. I'll skip up to the ticket counter, buy my ticket for one and tell the snack girl to lather my popcorn up with extra butter, because that shit is delicious. Table for one? Don't mind if I do. That means the only person I have to talk to is a waitress and if I am stone cold enough she will leave me alone and not tug at my shirt screaming for me to share.

Don't even get me started on going to Target by myself. It is better than Christmas Day, truly.

Being alone isn't bad, it's quite liberating. Much like being a single parent is. I get to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day, teach him how to be gentle with other people's hearts, play catch with him at the end of the day, pick out every awesome outfit, relish in the glory of every hug and know that I alone cured his infectious disease (( better known as a cold )) with my expert WebMD knowledge and homemade soup. AND THEN, at the end of the day, I can curl up on the couch, watch whatever I want on TV, cry at Pampers commercials and be ALONE. 

 Side note: I'd like to take a moment and give a special shout out to all you happily married or in a committed relationship moms out there who despite having a partner, usually do all of the things I do alone as well... being a stay at home mom is the hardest job out there, certainly the hardest and most demanding job I've ever had. You are equally awesome and feel free to take a bow with the rest of us at the end of this post. 
   Side note for the side note: If you are a male and think for one second that being a stay at home mom isn't harder than your job, stop reading and go have someone kick you in the balls because that is literally how I feel every time I hear someone, usually a man, talk about how being a stay at home mom isn't real work.


When he is playing t-ball for the first time, or basketball, or soccer, or football and makes a basket or scores a goal or throws a perfect spiral I'll know that that was ALL me... and THAT is awesome. I'd also like to take this opportunity to apologize to any future parents, referees, teammates... really anyone in the general public who might take offense to my undoubtedly unruly behavior on the sidelines of these games. I really am a nice person... see?? future me even brought everyone orange slices and Mike's Hard Lemonade for after the game (( or during, whatever you prefer)).

When he brings home his first girlfriend, holds her hand, is attentive and polite, I will bask in the glory of my greatest work yet, smile, then grill her relentlessly ((sorry future wife of Nolan, you aren't getting off that easy )). 

So cheers to you, mom who is dad, or dad who is mom. We are awesome-- now take a bow, you deserve it.